A while ago I chose to add this monthly writing task to my job description.
At that time, it was exciting, challenging and fun.
Yet, all of a sudden it became stressful, demanding and burdensome.
We can all relate to similar situations.
When this is an occasional occurrence, we can somehow handle it.
However, when we experience this on a regular basis, we become increasingly negative toward our work, until it manifests in our professional results as well as our emotional, mental and physical health.
We tend then to blame everybody and everything else.
"My partner doesn't contribute enough."
"These are unachievable standards."
"There is not enough space for me to express myself."
"The weather is depressing."
Anything... but me.
Unfortunately, it rarely improves the situation. It usually makes it worse.
I receive less support from my partner.
The quality of my work declines.
I feel increasingly constrained.
And the weather... is even worse.
So, after struggling with myself (and everybody else) for a few days, I chose to do a 'reality check' by asking some real questions:
Who chose this work? - I did.
Who set the deadline (or at least agreed to it)? - I did.
Who set the standards? - Me again.
I also chose my partner, created my working environment and bought this damn computer that keeps making spelling mistakes.
It seems that the weather is the only factor I didn't create, but it doesn't seem to bother my daughter, who is dancing happily in the rain wearing her new boots.
Now, I couldn't remain in my victim role.
I know I have another choice. In actuality, more than one.
I could stop with this article and let somebody else write it.
I could ask some friends to brainstorm with me.
I could share my impasse with my partner and receive her support.
I could choose for another job, another partner, another computer.
I could go out and skip in the puddles with my daughter.
I reclaimed the personal responsibility for my own situation.
If I choose now to stay stuck, at least I know there are other possibilities.
It is my choice - no reason to complain, to blame or to feel guilty.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, why don't you try this method?
First do a reality check.
Realize that in the end you are ultimately responsible for your situation.
Either for the results in your life (now and in the past) or for your reactions to these results.
The next step is to realize that if you have created your past and present situations, you also have the power to create your future situation.
Make a choice in the present to create your future results and actions.
For the rest, it is as simple as the current NIKE slogan: JUST DO IT!!!
I've reread what I have written up until now, and I like it.
It's really changed. Or actually I've really changed.
When I put my heart into what I do, when I cease with my victim role every time something goes wrong, and when I really concentrate on what it actually is that I'm creating - then the process is always exciting and challenging and the result, satisfying, uplifting and fun.
Everything I ever wanted in my work...
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